Gee, that's awfully convenient

It is entirely possible that the timing of the release of a new government report on teen sex is purely coincidental. But I highly doubt it. Our current rulers, er, leaders, have never given me much reason to believe this is anything other than calculated deception designed to mask other calculated deception.

A recent report from the National Center for Health Statistics says fewer teenagers ages 15 to 17 are having sex. According to the report, in 2002 only 30 percent of girls and 31 percent of boys in that age group had had sex, down from 38 and 43 percent, respectively, in 1995. If that's true, great. But this news comes barely a week after Rep Henry Waxman, D-Los Angeles, reported that many of the abstinence-only sex education programs in U.S. schools grossly mislead our children.

I'm not saying that the results of the NCHS report are necessarily suspect. But this administration is brilliant at spinning positive news like this to cover up its lies. It knows how to get the unwitting American public to take this as an indication that abstinence-only sex education (the only type of sex education King George chooses to subsidize) works, even thought there is no way to prove a causal relationship.

And they will do it all with their massive P.R. machine, the supposedly "librul" American media. Within the next few days, every member of the administration will mention the wonderful NCHS results to some group of mindless reporters, and it will echo throughout the nation. People will forget about those silly little incidents where kids were told that touching another person's genitals "can result in pregnancy." Oops, ha-ha.

Let's get one thing straight. It is downright evil to lie to naive, impressionable children about something as significant as sex in order to promote a religious agenda. Yes, it's unfortunate that so many teenagers are having sex. But you have to give them the facts, and let them make their own informed decisions. Not having all the facts endangers their very lives.

This is the news that should echo throughout the nation. Headlines should scream for reform. Senators and rights groups and even churches should be calling for the heads of those responsible for this outrage.

Instead, it is all too quickly forgotten, and the unstoppable regime crusades on. How can so many people continue to be so blind to their endless deception?

As long as I'm procrastinating...

Right now I'm supposed to be writing a "how-to" article for my magazine writing class. I was gonna do it on how to design Osprey (HSU's student magazine) but then I had a brilliant idea. Possibly one of my greatest talents is procrastination. So I'm gonna write about that. Tentative title: "How to put off doing just about anything."

But of course I'm going to put it off for a little bit and blog. (Blogging is a great procrastination tool, and I plan to use it in my article.) Today's subject will be Barry Bonds, and sports in general.

I'm having real issues with the whole steroid thing. I'm a lifelong Giants fan, complete with warm memories of cold Candlestick, a ticket stub from Opening Day at Pac Bell, er, SBC Park, and a ticket stub from the night Mr. Bonds hit No. 71. Or do we now call it No. 71(*)? For the longest time, I have defended Bonds against attacks from other fans, from teases about his inability to throw out a lame Sid Bream in the 1992 NLCS, to the accusations of steroid use after the season of 73.

But it gets harder and harder each time the S.F. Chronicle reports new revelations. And I'm not concerned so much with defending him as with what that means to me. Two of my most intense and exciting sports memories are being at the game when he hit No. 71(*) and seeing them come agonizingly close to winning the 2002 World Series. But now I wonder: are these cherished moments a sham? We still don't know the details of the steroid use, but if the home run record and the World Series were made possible by drugs, they become less meaningful, and I become disillusioned with sports in general. Possibly worse yet, I find myself not wanting him to break Hank Aaron's record of 755 career home runs, something I had been very much looking forward to. Aaron deserves to keep the record if Bonds cheated, even if he did it unknowingly (as he claimed to the grand jury). I guess it can be summed up in this political cartoon, by Scott Stantis of the Birmingham (Al.) News.

I wonder how non-Giants fans in the sports world feel about the whole scandal. I have a vested interest in the Giants and cannot detach my feelings from the issue. I have taken pride in our having the supposed best player of this generation on our team. I wonder if there is more room in my heart for acceptance of Bonds despite the steroid scandal, because I subconsciously want to hold on to all the memories of balls sailing into McCovey Cove.

How do Cardinals fans feel about it? In 2001 we took the home run record from Mark McGwire, and the next year we booted them from the playoffs in the NLCS. Maybe the Cardinals would have won it all that year if they didn't have to deal with Bonds.

These are all important questions, but I'd almost prefer not to try to answer them. It's too painful. I'm afraid of what the answers mean, what they will do to his legacy. No one seems to have suggested that he stop playing, at least not yet. But in a year and a half, when Bonds is sitting on 754 home runs, how will people feel then? How will I feel then?

Actually, right now I'm having doubts not just about Barry, or baseball, but with sports in general. I've always loved sports and believed they played a significant role in society, as a place where hope springs eternal (see: Boston Red Sox) and children are taught discipline, sportsmanship, and respect. But sports today seem to teach a different set of values: dishonesty (the steroid scandal), greed (currently manifested in the NHL lockout), and violence (Ron Artest and a couple of recent football games).

I'm not ready to give up sports altogether (it's hard to imagine a world without SportsCenter), but there's an inner conflict I haven't had to deal with before. Maybe something good will happen that will win me over, but given the current state of Bay Area sports, I'm not holding my breath.

See! I successfully killed two hours. Well, I made and ate dinner during that time, but still, not one minute of those two hours was spent on the paper that looms over me. Damn, I'm good. Hopefully not so good that the paper doesn't get finished. I'll keep you posted.